Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The White House announces Sasha Obama will now be played by Britney Watkins, a Buddhist extremist cell vows to unleash tranquility on the West, and an open floor plan increases an office shooter's productivity by 95 percent. It's the week of November 22, 2013. Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/